Serves me right really. When I first suggested me setting myself these challenges in our Sisterhood group I secretly thought it would be a great opportunity to shed a few excess pounds.
Oh boy, that didn’t go to plan.
It made me realise that I wanted to talk about this whole “always wanting” that many of us experience. When I was over weight, all I wanted was to be thin and yet once I reached “thin” all I wanted was to be defined. Yet of course reaching my personal peak of defined, I could not maintain it and this was before I had even learnt there was this on and off season that people in the fitness world talk about.
My exercise eased off and everything softened slightly and I felt chubby again. And so the cycle started again, I just wanted to be thiner, lighter and feminine and I struggled, gained weight and was heavier again.
Now all I crave is being at a comfortable level. No on or off season, no competition ready abs. I just want to be comfortable and having suffered previous injuries, my ideal now looks so different to what I have wanted through the last 5 years.
So is that happy spot fixed or fixable?
Can we honestly be content and feel “good enough” just by keeping fit without the goal to compete? Looking well without being pushed to be media’s “beach body ready” and just eating a balanced diet, without following a named diet or approach?
Back to this week and you may or may not be surprised to read that I decided to take a week long break. The vegan experience had created a snowball effect with my emotions and I wont deny that I literally ate what I wanted, when I wanted and in whatever quantity I wanted.
Surprisingly I did not throw myself into the nearest butchers or cook myself a pile of sausages or bacon butties. In fact I was not bothered at all about re-acquainting myself with meat, I was too busy working my way through dairy products. Butter, milk, cream and cheese – oh god how I missed cheese!
This blog should have been titled Lucy Goes Nuts or This is What Rebounding from a Diet is Like.
Edging onto the scales at the end of the week, I have to admit I was not ready for what I was about to see. I want to add (and this really isn’t an excuse ) that this was my first week back in the gym after a 12 week recovery from surgery. Whenever I have more than a few weeks break from the gym I tend to put on a kilo or two that drops off again as its probably just fluid retention.
Anyhow, my weight has still crept up, which is quite unusual for me. I mostly hover around 57/58kg and it isn’t weight that is sitting too comfortable either, not like the small gains I sometimes make when training hard.
Nevertheless I am thrilled to be back in the gym. After that initial first visit, where you feel like a complete beginner, awkward and self conscious, I have begun to settle back into a routine.
Suddenly I am excited about the next challenge!
It was supposed to be flexible dieting (also called IIFYM If It Fits Your Macros) but my appetite is literally outta control and having been obese previously, I want to heed my personal warning signs that I need to get my sh*t together.
So IF it is. No I mean I.F, as in intermittent fasting. Hailed as one of the many trendy ways to drop body fat, I actually happen to agree from past experience. However what I love it for most is that it seems to kerb my appetite really well and without feeling like I am actually eating less.
My week of freedom has come to an end, but I am definitely looking forward to the next four weeks!
Oh and when I said I did not rush to eat meat, I may have fibbed a little….
This gorgeous burger was made with Kezie Meats Wagyu Beef Burgers bought from Iceland #PowerOfFrozen and if you are interested in the recipe head to my Facebook page www.facebook.com/lucycdoyle
Don’t forget, if you haven’t already joined our Facebook group www.facebook.com/groups/sfnsisterhood